Welcome, future disruptors of democracy! Do you have a failing business, a shaky legal case, or maybe just a gnawing sense that people donât actually like you? Donât worry, with a credit card and a Facebook Ads account , you too can manufacture the illusion of being wildly important. Step 1. Throw Money at the Algorithm Organic reach is for suckers. Just load a few hundred bucks into the Meta machine, aim your ad at 10,000â50,000 random people who have never heard of you, and voilĂ : your grievances are now content. Step 2. Pick a Villain, Any Villain Nothing stirs engagement like a boogeyman. Judges, Attorneys General, governer, city planners, nosy neighbors, all fair game. Frame their boring administrative actions as part of a vast conspiracy against you. Remember: youâre not just running a business, youâre fighting tyranny. Step 3. Always Make It Personal Never say, âWe didnât get the permit.â Say, âTheyâre trying to silence us.â Toss in words like âcriminalize,â âpersecution,â or âwar zone.â Bonus points for dragging in someoneâs employer or children for emotional leverage. Or just say something downright defamatory. Step 4. Manufacture FOMO Outrage Your ads donât need to be coherent, they need to be shareable. Screenshot some legal paperwork, circle it in red like itâs a Da Vinci Code clue. People will click. Step 5. Rinse, Repeat, Forget Reality Sure, locals might be shaking their heads, but that doesnât matter. Youâre not selling beer anymore; youâre selling a narrative. Reality is optional when you can target fresh strangers who have no idea whatâs going on. Bonus Step: Curate Your Echo Chamber Every orchestra needs a conductor, and every comment section needs a censor. Delete dissent faster than you pour a pint, then block anyone who dares question the gospel. What used to be a messy conversation is now a pristine hall of mirrors where the only voice left is your own. With the critics gone, the gullible mistake your echo chamber for consensus. ⸝ So the next time you see a sponsored post about how a taproom is the last line of defense against tyranny, remember: it probably cost less than a round of drinks to beam that story into your feed. 
|
Check out this cool link:Federal Election Commission.
want your dollars to do actual good instead of funding someoneâs latest performative drama arc?
